the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
