It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
