I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You made out with two different species that night
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
