week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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