Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.

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(248): Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious. http://tfl.nu/r1dy

Replies (19) Good night (1047) Bad night (1225)
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(408): View more from California

I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

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(408): I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure http://tfl.nu/8j71

Replies (28) Good night (483) Bad night (1693)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Ketchup is God's man juice

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(720): Ketchup is God's man juice http://tfl.nu/p9oo

Replies (43) Good night (2763) Bad night (1455)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.

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(919): Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room. http://tfl.nu/3ukp

Replies (28) Good night (9770) Bad night (1071)
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(530): View more from California

There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(530): There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool. http://tfl.nu/gbzx

Replies (16) Good night (6442) Bad night (1211)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

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(919): Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform." http://tfl.nu/nw1x

Replies (11) Good night (5382) Bad night (881)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.

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(920): She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off. http://tfl.nu/r6m3

Replies (12) Good night (4364) Bad night (1656)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.

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(319): I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can. http://tfl.nu/h4v8

Replies (4) Good night (1612) Bad night (667)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.

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(541): I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now. http://tfl.nu/mv3i

Replies (2) Good night (1485) Bad night (654)
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(516): View more from New York

Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you

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(516): Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you http://tfl.nu/ijza

Replies (2) Good night (1435) Bad night (624)
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(956): View more from Texas

Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW

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(956): Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW http://tfl.nu/0qym

Replies (8) Good night (1363) Bad night (401)
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(315): View more from New York

Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok

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(315): Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok http://tfl.nu/1uoa

Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (898)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.

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(902): I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me. http://tfl.nu/zjm5

Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (396)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.

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(952): I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous. http://tfl.nu/ct4x

Replies (1) Good night (840) Bad night (303)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.

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(504): So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius. http://tfl.nu/mef6

Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (333)

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