I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
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Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life