hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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