Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(760): View more from California

There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.

Fav 34 4015 737
share tweet
(818): View more from California

Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

Fav 39 1125 3354
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

Fav 811 13331 6571
share tweet
(626): View more from California

One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska

Fav 16 4847 1768
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(718): View more from New York

The gym has a pool

(914): View more from New York

my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"

Fav 4 3532 1222
share tweet
(212): View more from New York

Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?

Fav 18 2029 1046
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(719): View more from Colorado

Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...

Fav 2 784 1298
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(260): View more from Indiana

I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"

Fav 0 858 494
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.

Fav 1 13 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT