I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.