have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
