Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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