on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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