I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
