I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
