I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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