I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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