i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
