so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
