Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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