i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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