You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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