You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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