I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
