I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
