I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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