a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
