make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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