shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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