I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
