help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
