Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
