dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
