so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
