I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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