why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
try to milk me bitch
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
