hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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