I'm jealous of your bromance
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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