i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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