I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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