she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
