You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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