I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
