my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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