and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
a search helicopter?!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
