four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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