Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize