you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I would fuck him just for his dog
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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