I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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