Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
