Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
