So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
