awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
