I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
