Grow some girl-balls and come out already
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
