My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
