Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i barfeds in our rink
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
