You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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