I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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