so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
