Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
