i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
