So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
