just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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