just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
