i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
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For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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