They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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