very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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