i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
