Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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