You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
