Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
